Monday, April 25, 2005

More OCD Revealed

Fine, I have OCD. The ever famous Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You realize that when I was born 33 years ago (before the "disorder" was named) you would have just called me quirky. Let's stick with that. I'm quirky. I personally hate the term "disorder", as it implies a person's total helplessness in a situation. "Oh, poor me! I have this disorder that I can't control. Pity me!" Blah, blah, blah... You're just fine. You're just quirky. We're all quirky. Get over your bad self.

Nonetheless, the fact that I recognize that I have a "disorder" and don't let it own me is doing pretty well. Most of my OCD revolves around fire, and the fear of my house/body/dog catching on fire. On one hand, it keeps me out of harm's way, which is a good thing. For example, it's the very reason why I can't sleep naked. (Sorry for bringing up the thought of me naked... I don't like to think about it either. Eeek!) Anyway, I know people who do sleep naked, but I'm deathly afraid my house is going to catch on fire in the middle of the night, and I'll have to run out of the house, screaming like a pre-teen girl on her way to a Backstreet Boys reunion concert. Don't you think it would be traumatic enough to stand outside in the street watching your house and everything your own burn to the ground without having the added humiliation of being completely naked in front of 30 local firefighters? Think about it, people. Until they invent a fireproof house, I'm just fine sleeping in my Joe Boxers, thanks.

Well, sometimes my "disorder" doesn't make as much sense. And sometimes it gets me into rather embarrasing situations. Case in point, I have this habit of checking the coffee pot to ensure it's turned off - three or four times before leaving the house to go to work. Many times, I just cave to my fears and just unplug the darn thing. Well, yesterday I made breakfast for some friends (which is somewhat of a weekend tradition - you should stop by sometime) and this is an actual coversation which occurred between my friend Patrick and me.

Me: "Oh, you're having more coffee?"
Patrick: "Yeah, I made another pot."
Me: "What? How did you make another pot? I unplugged it!"
Patrick: "Uh, I plugged it back in. I do have a college degree. Wow."
Me: "Oh, nevermind..."

So I guess this would be one of those times when your disorders are better left NOT shared with friends (and here I am talking about it to countless people on the Internet. Great). Oh well. Long story short, I guess I'm just telling you to embrace your quirkiness, laugh about it, and for love of all things good, unplug your coffee maker.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Michael Maddox said...

You need a delivery service for hot food. You could install a small insulated safe on your doorstep for them to leave your hot coffee in there for you next to the newspaper. While searching for such a service, I accidentally found a little site which clearly shows the quirkiness of another gentleman. http://www.cockeyed.com/inside/coffee/coffee.html

3:32 PM  
Blogger anne said...

here's my thought on "ocd": I am not obsessed, just CONCERNED. you are just one very very concerned man, is all. thanks SO MUCH for the list. (my mother would definitely party with you. she likes cute boys as much as i do. . . and you ARE pretty damn cute!) anne

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Penny said...

I completely understand the need to be presentable in the middle of the night; I have a similar "quirk". I prefer Troy wear some sort of sleeping pants, because what if, in the middle of the night, some emergency happens that we have to go running from our home? He reasons that he'd quick throw on his pants; I reason that the emergency won't afford us the time for him to do so. I'm losing that battle:)

Hey, to help your coffeemaker phobia, you should try a french press. I don't drink coffee, but Troy threw out our coffeemaker after getting a french press, claiming it makes the BEST coffee. It would require that you not have a microwave phobia...

10:17 PM  
Blogger Alicia said...

My boyfriend obsesses about the coffeemaker even though I have the kind that shuts off after two hours.

I obsess about the hot iron. I've been known to call him on the way to work and whomever is closest to the house has to go back and check it.

I agree with Anne. We're just very concerned people!

3:50 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Yeah, I can't sleep naked either.

11:38 PM  

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