Wednesday Morning

Well, it's been brought to my attention that more and more people are reading my blog. I'm not sure if it's because people are interested in the inner workings of a mind that is slightly askew, or if you're here for the free cookies. You can admit it, it won't hurt my feelings. Hey, I'm here for the cookies too.

Well, I just wanted to take a quick poll. If you are reading this blog right now, would you just be so kind as to raise your hand? Come on, please? Simon says. You don't have to raise it high, just high enough so I can see it. Oh, that's perfect, thanks. Wait a minute, is that a new watch? I love it. Very cool.

It's also been brought to my attention that since more and more of you are sharing my site with friends, there are people out there who want to know what I look like. Well, I haven't figured out how to post a photo yet. Yeah, I know all of the cool kids have pictures on their sites, but I'm just not that cool. Jeez. Stop hounding me. For now, a verbal description will have to suffice. Basically I look like Rupert Everett.

That is, if Rupert Everett was fat, Dutch, prematurely grey and had a smaller nose, bigger ears, and really long fingers.

Wait a minute... why is it whenever we describe ourselves to people, we always seem to focus on our negative aspects? I'm going to stop doing that. Right here, right now. I'm going to start focusing more on my positive aspects. I mean, I'm not the elephant boy, here! My self-esteem would have allowed me to get away with beating myself up like that three years ago when I was fat - REALLY FAT - but not now. No. No longer. For those of you who don't know me, I lost 110lbs three years ago - which is why I'm such an adamant runner and health nut today.

Yes, you read that correctly. I lost 110lbs. I lost Paris Hilton. (Oh, if only we could be so lucky to lose her!) I'll write more later on how I actually lost the weight, but I just want you to know that if there's something in your life that you want to change, you can do it. Seriously. Lose weight? Get healthy? Talk to that new officemate? Get a new job? Reconnect with old friends? Run a marathon? Come on people, if I can do it, you can do it. I am living proof that ordinary people can make extraordinary changes in their lives. And trust me, it's fun here.

So back to my positive aspects. Here goes. *takes big breath*

On any given day, I can look rather handsome (or so I've been told). I happen to like my hair today. And I like my eyes. And even though I can't seem to smile normally for a photo, I happen to like my smile. (Yeah, I'm not sure what's up with the photo thing, my smile always comes across as though I've just swallowed something sour). And although I'm no supermodel, I happen to like my body. If it can hold up after getting hit by a Toyota Camry and still run a marathon two months later, I'd say it's doing a pretty good job.

OK, enough touchy-feely for one day. I'm getting a little queasy, here. Time to change the subject. My shaving experiment is still rolling along... (If you're new to my neighborhood, check out blog Taylorism and Shaving for details). I PROMISE to report back this weekend. After all, I have to get you the results this weekend, as next week I leave for Hawaii for my best friend's wedding (yet another reference to Rupert Everett). I cannot WAIT to get to Hawaii, as I'm sure there will be a million crazy experiences, most of them will be rather blogworthy. I will try my best to find a computer for at least one island blog, "Mateo - The Fantasy Island Edition" if you will, but I'm not making any promises. If nothing else, I have a great memory, so you can expect many stories upon my return.

Well, I just wanted to send a quick thanks to everyone out there reading my blog. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. It's actually good therapy for me, oddly enough. I hope it inspires you to get healthier, but maybe it just makes you laugh. Either way, I hope it enhances your life. I'm glad you're here. Feel free to come back. You're cute.

Oh, and you can put your hand down, now. Simon says. Your arm must be incredibly sore...