New Year, New Me
Ok, you you haven't heard from me in nearly three months. I'm still here, just a little deflated. For those of you who didn't know, my Chicago Marathon run was... well... uhm... it wasn't the best run I've ever had. In fact, it ranks right up there in the top ten worst runs I've ever had, right behind my ten mile training run with the gurgle.
There are a multitude of reasons, and I could make all kinds of excuses, but it is what it is. It basically boils down to the fact that I just had a bad run. Some runs are good, some runs are bad. This one was really bad. Horrible. It's the first time I've ever uttered the words "I want to quit". And I meant it.
Top five reasons I wanted to quit the Chicago Marathon:
1. Weather - it was about a very windy and chilly 35 degrees at the start, and a very windy and chilly 35 degrees at the finish. It was even snowing and sleeting. Because of the weather, I had about 15 layers of clothing on. I was wearing three shirts and running tights over my shorts. I was thinking I would eventually shed the tights, but it was so cold, I never did. So basically, it was like I was running in a diaper - which is good if you have a bladder control issue, but bad if you have to run 26.2 miles. Two words: unbearable chafing.
2. Dehydration - I started cramping at mile 15. Truth be told, I hit the wall at mile 15. More like the wall hit me. And it kept hitting me over and over for the final 11 miles. It was pretty brutal.
3. Race Number - I didn't pin my number firmly on my shirt, so in the wind, my race number kept flipping up and hitting me in the face. At one point I actually yelled "I'd give my left arm for an extra safety pin!"
4. Crowd - or lack thereof. The bad weather meant a much smaller and sparse crowd.
5. Me - I started too fast and lost steam halfway through. It's common mistake for a rookie, but considering it was my fourth marathon, I should know better. Rather than listen to my body, I was trying to keep up with friends, and I just pushed myself too hard.
Top five reasons I finished the Chicago Marathon:
1. Weather - I kept running just to stay warm. Stopping wasn't an option, because your body would cool down too much, so you just had to stay in motion.
2. Dehydration - Sometimes I just kept running, knowing that there would be a waterstop up ahead.
3. Race Number - The blond girl who heard my cry and gave me a safety pin. She said, "keep it, and you can keep your arm, too". Whew. That was a win/win.
4. Crowd - Even though the crowds were smaller, I think they were more enthousiastic. One woman even asked for my phone number. (I'm flattered, but unavailable). Now granted, most of the people were probably cheering for me because I looked so pathethic running with tears in my eyes, but they kept me going.
5. Me - Speaking of keeping up with friends, my wonderful friend Tara kept up with me... and kept me going. She met me at mile 21, when I was at my absolute worst. I was crying, I was in pain, and I had mentally given up. She literally pushed me along for blocks cheering me on and encouraging me. Had it not been for her, I would not have finished. Thanks, Tara.
So the marathon was a bad run. A really bad run. But I finished, which may just be an even greater accomplishment, considering how difficult it was. I've come to terms with it (granted, it took me three months to come to terms with it, but cut me some slack. I've always been a little slower than most). I've turned over a new leaf. I'm back on track. My outlook has brightened - and even my look has lightened. To remind me of my new mental change, I made a physical change - I shaved off my beard. So far, it's working. Here you have it.
"2007 NEW YEAR, NEW ME" Top five reasons I keep running:
1. I just love to run. Running is so much fun. For example, I had a fantastic hilly four miler on a snow covered trail today. It was only 20 degrees and all I was wearing were my shorts, a long sleeved shirt, and my sneakers. Don't ask. I didn't plan well. I don't even have my beard anymore to keep my face warm. Regardless, it was one of my best runs ever. I was smiling the whole time. It was a great day to be outdoors, it was a great day to be running, and it was a great day to be alive.
2. I love running with other people. It connects you in a way that few other activities can. Last week, while trail running with my three favorite running partners (Rob, Cat, and Loki), we were discussing the fact that some people think if you can talk while you're running, then you're not pushing yourself enough. I completely disagree. Some of the very best conversations I've had in my life have been during a long run. (By the way, both Rob and Cat were marathon newbies at Chicago 2006, and they both had a GREAT run. I couldn't be happier for them. Rob beat Oprah (yeah!) and Cat was right behind him with a stellar finish. All three of us have already signed up to run Chicago 2007).
3. Running keeps me healthy. I don't care if I put on a few pounds or my 5k speed slows by ten seconds. I'm active, I'm fit, and I'm healthy. I'm still in such a better place than I was even five years ago.
4. Running gives me goals. Even if I gave up marathoning, I'd still training for 5ks, 10ks, half marathons, and triathlons. Running and training for races forces you out of your comfort zone. It pushes you to run faster and farther. It challenges you to realize your potential.
5. Running inspires me. Just recently, a complete stranger came up to me at a local wine tasting and told me, "You probably don't remember me, but I was having a really hard time at the triathlon last year, and you inspired me to finish". After chatting with her a bit, it turns out it was "Blue Shirt Lady" from the Pigman IV. So, sometimes you inspire others, sometimes they inspire you.
Whatever your reason, just keep running.