OK, Seriously...

So I realize that I'm the most unreliable blogger on the face of the planet, but seriously. I've had a lot going on lately. Rather than sit here and tell stories all night, you're getting a list. Not super short bullet points, but not my normal verbose disco mix, either.

Sorry the OCD is kicking in overtime tonight. Quite frankly, the only reason I'm sitting down at the computer is because I've been cleaning for an hour fifteen and I (seriously) just ran out of Windex. I'm always looking for signs from God, so I figure my blazing through a bottle of window cleaner was his way of telling me to quit cleaning for the night. Maybe it was his way of telling me to go buy ice cream. Either way, here's your list.

What has been keeping me busy, Spring 2006.

1. I had another birthday. To celebrate, I blew out my knee, and wasn't able to run for three weeks. Argh. To all of you "running-is-going-to-kill-your-knees" naysayers... no, I wasn't running when my knee acted up. I was at work, simply sitting down in my chair. So rather than give up marathon running, I've decided to give up Corporate America. Not really, but it's fun to entertain the thought. I've since returned to light running, and my knee seems to be fine. I keep meaning to return to Corporate America, but can't seem to find the motivation.

2. I spent a four day bachelor party weekend in Vegas. No story. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I'll just put it this way, Vegas is a bit overwhelming for this small-town Iowa boy. And in case you were wondering, no, I didn't even spend one penny gambling. I'm FAR too Dutch to blindly hand over my money to a bunch of people who built a replica of the Eiffel Tower in the middle of the desert. If I'm going to spend my money in Paris, I want it to be in the REAL Paris, where the residents are condescending, and the public transport smells like body odor and urine, thank you very much.

3. I've gone crazy remodeling the kitchen. I put in a new ceiling, drywalled, painted, wallpapered... the only big thing left is new tile on the countertops. I even busted out the powertools and built myself a spankin' new stemware holder for the dead space above the fridge. I just finished installing it last night. It's HUGE. It's got more than enough space to hold a partyful of white wine, red wine, champagne, martini, and margarita glasses. It's quite classy, although very... uh... sturdy. Judging by my installation job, you'd think we were drinking wine in a bomb shelter. You'd have to burn the house down to remove it from the ceiling.

Sidebar, if you're dating a person with OCD, it's best that you - AT ALL COSTS - avoid trying to assist with any kind of remodeling jobs. Just pretend you have errands to run or someplace to be. Example: If you happen enter my house and I'm standing in the kitchen holding a bolt of wallpaper:

Incorrect statement: "Hi honey! Oh, that wallpaper looks... 'interesting'. Well, maybe it will grow on me. Let me help".

Correct statement: "Oh shucks, I just realized that I forgot my checkbook in the Republic of Congo," backing slowly towards the door, "It looks like you've got a handle on this project. I'll be back in a few days when you've finished".

4. I've signed up for the Chicago marathon again. This will make for year three at Chicago. Maybe I'll beat Oprah this year. Actually, I'd settle for beating Fat Elvis. We're even organizing a "Chicago marathon training and support" group for folks in the area. Word on the street is that a local news station caught wind of our little group and wants to do a segment on us for the evening news. That's another perk of living in Iowa. There isn't enough crime and tragedy to fill a newsanchor's thirty minutes, so you always have time for a handful of feel good stories.

5. I'm rapidly ramping up my training for the summer races and triathlons. I have a sprint triathlon in less than a month. In fact, it's the day after the aforementioned Vegas bachelor's wedding, so I'm using it as experiment to see how well I can swim, bike, and run after a day of wedding, reception, and party.

6. I'm thoroughly obsessed with the yard. For my birthday, I received a wonderful gift of 5 flowerpots, 2 shepherd's hooks, and all the subsequent flora. I love it. Keep in mind that I have a small problem doing anything in moderation. Translation: ever since my birthday three weeks ago, I've been buying plants and flowers like they are made of precious metals. If I run to the hardware store for pliers, I come home with peonies. It looks like I'm starting my own greenhouse. And it doesn't even matter how much sun it needs or the amount of care required. If it's pretty, I naïvely buy it. Which would normally be fine, but... one minor caveat being that I have a black thumb, so I've already managed to kill the heartiest of them. Oh well, I guess I used to waste my money on much more stupid things - like cigarettes - at least now I'm only killing plants... not my lungs.

7. Enough of this list. I've got to get some ice cream. Seriously.